Being the heartbreaker

"Engaging your emotions is like making an investment"

When you're in a relationship things have a way of going quite swimmingly. I mean there's the occasional fight, some mean words said, a few tears shed, names get dragged through the mud and so forth. But when a relationship ends it's a completely different matter. A break-up is like an escalated fight in a relationship that most people just don't get up from after they've been pummeled to the ground. I'm not sure how that goes because in all the relationships I've been in I was the one who ended the relationship.

For people who have always been the one to be broken up with, they won't understand that sometimes it's just as hard on the person who ends the relationship.Unless the person ending the relationship was a totally unfeeling bitch/bastard. If you're in a relationship and get past the honeymoon phase - that's what experts refer to the first couple of weeks in a new relationship - then things have toned down, it isn't about puppy love or complete lust anymore. You finally get an opportunity to know a person and all their good and bad traits. Then, comes the living. After investing a lot of time, effort and most importantly your emotions, it's difficult to be the heartbreaker. You wonder if there's a chance of things working out, should you stay in the relationship and try to make it work or have you had enough and just need to get out.

Dealing with the anger, hurt and betrayal felt by the other person is very difficult. I personally try to put up a brave front and be understanding and keep my distance but it just doesn't work out. That makes you seem even more cold and unfeeling, which I have a tendency to be when trying to mask my own emotions. If a relationship was good, at least from the other person's perspective then it'll take quite some time for them to get over it.

Being the heartbreaker isn't easy. There's no easy way to take away someone's dreams and emotions while handling it with care. Sometimes they think you're audacious to think you could be platonic but if you shared a part of your life with someone, shouldn't they look past what happened and be platonic? I think it can be done, but only if the person has a level of maturity about them. Otherwise, it'll be continuous fights and then you'd wish there was makeup sex to deal with all the frustration.

The most important part of being the heartbreaker is to not feel guilty. Sometimes you have to be selfish and protect yourself and your interests. Engaging your emotions is like make an investment. When the returns on your investment are falling, fluctuating or minimal, and you think you can get better returns elsewhere, you withdraw and reinvest. It's like playing the stock market, you have to take some risks but don't be a stock market whore, making several investments and switching depending on the play of the market.

As a heartbreaker you feel guilty and go through several negative emotions but the one that matters the most is that somewhere deep down, it all feels right.