Compartmentalising love - Can it be done?

It is a pretty awesome word is it not? Compartmentalising.

I used that word in a meeting telling my contractor that I need to have the WP Filebase compartmentalised to truly optimise the website for the client. He looked at me super confused and said what the hell did you just say. Yep... I chose my words carefully just to screw with him and I let him know that.

"To compartmentalise is to separate into isolated compartments or categories."

I have always thought that I was polyamorous i.e. the ability to have more than one sexual, loving relationship at the same time with the full knowledge and consent of all the parties involved. This is basically how it pans out. 

There is this one guy that I have been in love with for oh, roughly 10 years and with his permission I have always engaged in relationships letting the other guy know that hey, you cannot have all of me because part of me belongs to someone else. I would be completely emotional but non sexual with my love and in a relationship I would skip the typical female emotions and be sexual. When I am with each person I would put aside what I feel for the other and just love that one person. I was safe and secure in my ability to compartmentalise what I felt for each person and knew that there was never any threat to my love.

It was not until my last foray into polyamory that I realised how very wrong I was about compartmentalising my feelings. I found myself in a situation where I fancied a guy and spoke to my love and he said, go for it. I was determined to not feel any affection for this new guy but fate would not have it so. I fell in love. I convinced myself that I am still in love with my love and nothing could shake that. However, my foundation started to show cracks when my 'ability' to compartmentalise failed me. I would be with my love and be thinking about this other guy. I would withhold things from him and not be into the intellectually stimulating conversations we would usually have, which was one of the pillars of what we were. The sex talk, would still be interesting but it did not do what it used to do for me. 

After going on for months like this I confessed my love to the new guy. He asked me what is love? and whether I knew the difference between being in love and loving someone? I wracked my brain and found the answer but decided to speak from the heart. When I searched my heart I realised that I had been fooling myself.

Being in love is doing anything you can for the person you love without expecting anything in return, seeking that person's best interest and putting yourself on the line. Being in love is when everything and everyone else pales in comparison to that person and they make this cruel life so much easier - your reason for waking up in the morning.

In order to love someone you have to be in love with them first. When you love someone, they will always have a special place in your heart.

Compartmentalising love is merely fooling yourself. When love comes around, what you once felt for someone else will just fade away. 

I, a former polyamorous individual am here to say that love cannot be compartmentalised. You cannot be in love with more than one person at the same time. You either love, or you are in love.

Confessions Recalled

Now I know that I promised confessions in March and it is now April. Firstly, time flies! Secondly, I have to take my professional reputation into consideration and as a result I could not make my confessions. Furthermore, what I thought I had to confess, my recent transgressions as they were, I do not regret them. I lived! For a long time I had stopped living and someone jolted me out of that. Played games with me, played on my emotions, and actually succeeded in making me happy for a while.

So my apologies for not confessing. Cannot confess that which I do not really regret.

MAC Workshop Experience

Have you ever seen a woman wearing makeup and wonder to yourself, 'I wish I could do that?' A lot of women would love to wear makeup because it gives them that extra confidence boost or helps them to feel just a tad bit sexier. However, a number of women don't know how to create the makeup looks they see and as a result they shy away from purchasing makeup.

Don't worry ladies help is here

Various makeup brands offer its customers the opportunity to learn how to apply makeup professionally. Workshops to apply makeup range from a one day session, to a weekend or even longer, depending on how advanced you would like to go.

When I got back from the UK with all my MAC makeup and brushes my sister decided she wanted to know how to use all those brushes. She went out, bought cheaper alternatives (let's face it, MAC brushes are expensive) and I had a good laugh watching her try to use them. When she tried to put eye shadow on her lids she did it with a paintbrush action. After I suggested to her that she pat it on she made up her mind to do a course in applying makeup.

Makeup Workshops in Trinidad

Sacha Cosmetics offers a weekend course for about TT$2000. MAC also offers a weekend course for slightly more. However, the difference lies in that MAC gives you the amount for the course in products whereas from Sacha you just learn how to apply makeup. MAC has a 2.5 hour session on how to create a look of your choice. It costs TT$300 and you get that amount in products. It's a no-brainer that my sister decided she wanted to attend the 2.5 hour session.

For more information on makeup courses/workshops call your local makeup retail store.

The MAC Experience

Before

For the workshop me, my sister, two of her friends, and three of my cousins attended. We were separated in couples and one group of three. There was a makeup artist for each couple and two artists worked with the group of three. Whatever makeup was worn to the workshop was taken off and the makeup artist applied Studio Moisture Cream, a really nice lightweight moisturiser and Prep and Prime Skin which creates a base for applying foundation and acts as a barrier between the skin and the makeup.

The makeup artist asked what sort of looks we were after and then chose colours to complement what we were currently wearing. She applied the makeup to one eye and then we copied what she did on the other eye. Whilst applying the makeup the artist explained what she was doing. For my look she used Painterly Paint Pot as the base, applied Paradisico to the entire lid, put Sketch on the outer corner and blended into the crease with Coppering. To finish the look I impressed her with my skill in applying Black Track Fluidline with an angled brush and used Haute and Naughty Lash Mascara.

What impressed me the most was that she used the Matchmaster foundation that I really had to summon some willpower to resist buying. A couple years ago I had gone to MAC for a powder and was given NW45 which gave me a greenish tint that I hated. Earlier this year I went for a foundation despite my combination skin and I was recommended to use NC instead of NW. The finish of the Matchmaster foundation was incredible. The artist said it's more suited for when taking photographs. She finished the face with Ambering Rose Blush, some highlight and spritzed Mineralize Charged Water Revitalizing Energy. For the lips I can't really remember what she put but it was a matte lipstick and I am not a fan of MAC's matte lipsticks.

Afterwards, we were asked what products we wanted that had to be a minimum of $300. Mine came to exactly $300. I bought a 263 Small Angle Brush and got my sister the lipstick they had used on her since she opted to get a concealer and one of the paint pots for herself.

After

In all, it was a really good experience. My only concern was that the makeup artist put concealer under my eyes. It is not a look I am familiar with having on myself, but it is all about trying new things. Experimenting and Exploring!

My sister seems to be using the brushes much better than she did before. My peeve however is that she is using my MAC makeup instead of the makeup she buys.

Would I do a workshop again? Yes, I definitely will and I'll make a mini event out of it with a couple girlfriends or some of my other cousins. It is a good opportunity for some feminine bonding and I would definitely recommend it.

Review: Fifty Shades Trilogy

In 2011, author E L James took inspiration from the Twilight series and penned her own trilogy - Fifty Shades. Classed in the erotic genre the series became a huge hit and dominated the Amazon Best Sellers list well into 2012. Although I had no intentions of reading this filth I was raped by an ebook copy of Fifty Shades of Grey on Windows Live Messenger. After reading the books I read many reviews of the series and here I am to give my own thoughts.

Synopsis

A lover and major of classical literature, Anastasia Steele stumbles into the office of egotistical entrepreneur Christian Grey to conduct an interview on behalf of her best friend. Ana's awkwardness triggers a need for Christian to dominate her. Overwhelmed by Christian's predatory behaviour and her own wants, Ana gives in to him and thus sets the tone for three novels revolving around Christian's insatiable desire for BDSM and Ana's battle with her conscience and desire to participate in his 'Fifty Shades of fucked up'.

Critics

Fifty Shades of Grey, the first installment in the series is at the top of both the Amazon Romance and Best Sellers lists. I have seen newspapers rave about it and the ratings are supposedly so good that a movie is to be made by the guys who brought you The Social Network. Matt Bomer and Ian Somerhalder are being considered for the role of Christian Grey and there have been rumours of Emma Watson as Anastasia Steele.

While the reviewers whose lofty opinions matter have been toasting this erotica, the avid readers have had other things to say. I read a blog that was devoted to one woman's reactions as she read through the book. She ranted and raved about it. She tore the style of writing apart, absolutely hated the characters and their development and just about everything that you could complain about, she complained! Tearing the novel apart seemed to be the order of the day for most bloggers. Below is a comic that accurately sums up the first book.

Fifty Shades of Grey in 10 panels
BurtonDurand.Tumblr

Opinion

I unfortunately will not follow in the footsteps of bloggers before me. I had my reservations about reading the book. I generally dislike books that are written in first person. It worked for Harper Lee in To Kill a Mockingbird but that does not mean everyone should do it. The book follows through in the same vein as literotica (otherwise known as porn without pictures). It appeals to female readers since it is written through the eyes of the heroine and as a result, I enjoyed the book.

Professionally, Christian Grey is the sort of man we would all like to hook up with at some point in life. He is really messed up and has major issues but it gives him this troubled persona that women cannot help but reach out to in an attempt to soothe or fix him. Anastasia Steele is a woman none of us would like to be. She's insipid, terribly clumsy and very awkward. Her character was not the best but since she is modeled after Twilight's Bella Swan I can understand the shallow nature.

The style of writing of the book was in fact horrible. All the characters had the same style of speaking. James was apparently trying to impress us with her vocabulary but I found it very tedious that I had to look up a lot of words on my Kindle. I understand that the protagonists were impeccably educated and well read but realistically no one speaks like that. I am a well educated young woman and I have a friend whose vocabulary can run circles around mine but we have never used any complicated words. That was one of my major faults with the book. Additionally, the series was not consistent as the first installment was where all the kinky stuff happened. James might have been bored and decided she wanted to conform and write about 'vanilla sex'.

What I did enjoy was the kinky aspect of the book. It is supposedly the first of its kind but I have read a lot of porn stories where they actually use the 'dirrty' terms for vagina and penis and I can definitely tell you this is not something new. For me the whole concept of BDSM has been tainted by the fact that a lot of people frown upon it and porn - well that is never a true representation of anything. The book brought the idea into a whole new light for me and I thoroughly enjoyed the Red Room of Pain. However, a lot of the metaphors and similes used were just perplexing. Nevertheless, the rare glimpses of the story from Christian's point-of-view were a saving grace.

In all I think this book is not for everyone. If you are not into the BDSM you will not like it. If you are reading the book just for the fun of it you can enjoy it. If you are highly critical you will not enjoy this book and you will start using Blogger just to rant and rave about this book. Like everything in life, take it with a pinch of salt and if you are judging it, just remember that the inspiration for this book is Twilight. Enough said!

Fifty Shades Trilogy - 2.5/5 (It started off really good minus the overdone writing and language. However, it fizzled out in the end).

Review: Sacha Cosmetics

Founded in the Caribbean island of Trinidad, Sacha Cosmetics is a family-owned business that has been in operation for over 30 years. The vision of Sacha Cosmetics was to create a line of makeup that withstood the harsh conditions of the tropics whilst catering to the varied ancestry of the Caribbean people. In the past Sacha Cosmetics has been the official cosmetics of Miss Universe, Miss USA, Miss Jamaica and other beauty pageants.

In Trinidad and Tobago, Sacha Cosmetics is the most popular and widely used line of cosmetics. My sister in Trinidad has used this line for years and while she has been pleased with the results I have had varied success.

Foundation

Sacha Cosmetics Makeover

Sacha Cosmetics claims to have formulated foundations to perfectly match various skin tones and types. I am not quite sure how true that statement is. As a bridesmaid for a wedding my sister took me to Sacha Cosmetics to have my makeup professionally done. The makeup looked beautiful and actually lasted throughout the wedding, the reception and the after party. However, my T-zone was not catered to. Furthermore, when time came to wash the makeup off I had a hell of a time taking it off. What I also did not like was that foundation was only applied up to my jawline so my neck and face had two different tones.

I have a lot of friends who use Sacha Cosmetics and either the makeup artists are really horrible when doing a complexion/foundation match or the product is pretty rubbish, since I see people walking around with rather ashy complexions.

Eyeshadow

Sacha has a wide range of eyeshadows and my sister uses them quite often and while she relies on her fingers rather than brushes to apply her shadow, it looks very nice. One of my friends was a former employee of Sacha Cosmetics and she bought me a pearl eyeshadow palette and there is a gorgeous teal colour - Shanghai Pearl - that I decided to use a couple Sundays ago to match the teal dress I wore to church. The colour was beautiful but after 2 hours it faded out to a silver colour. I was beyond livid. I came home, reapplied and went out. Again the colour faded away. That's when I made up my mind to go and invest in a teal MAC eyeshadow. I have yet to find my way to MAC but I shall soon.

Shanghai Pearl 

Shanghai Pearl on skin

I have very mixed views on Sacha products and most of them are not brilliant. The eyeshadows are a pretty good buy. The foundations not so great. If you need to buy one, purchase it at one of their specialty stores rather than in retail stores. You should look at how the foundation looks in natural light as well as under the down lights before purchasing.

Sacha Cosmetics is distributed in approximately 23 countries from specialty stores on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills to retail stores in the Caribbean, Africa and other parts of the USA. 

Sacha Cosmetics Foundation - 2/5 (A nightmare to take off and retail store makeup artists rarely do a perfect match.)

Sacha Cosmetics Eyeshadow - 4/5 (I reckon I just had a bad experience with the Pearl palette.)

Nota Bene: I need a new cam because it did not show up the true colour of the Shanghai Pearl.