Forever Single

While showing my nephew a picture of a friend crying when her boyfriend proposed to her, he joked to me that just because I'm a strong black woman who doesn't need a man doesn't mean other people don't! Today in the Daily Mail there was an article "The 'Forever Singles'. Normally I would not read any article that spanned two sides of a tabloid-sized newspaper but I was intrigued as a pull out quote in large font said:

They're attractive and successful, yet a growing number of women say they prefer independence to romance. Liberating - or a recipe for loneliness?

When I read the quote I was ready to say I'm a forever single but as I read the article I had some misgivings.

There were many aspects of the forever singles in the article that I agreed with. I can be genuinely happy on my own terms and I don't have to worry about a significant other always demanding time, attention, affection and other things. Being single, I'm also not overly concerned with what anyone else thinks. I do not have to change my habits because someone else did not like them; I do not have to ditch my friends because someone did not approve of them; and I do not have to walk on eggshells to avoid upsetting anyone. Being single, I can finally focus on me and while it may seem selfish it's awesome and I do sleep better at night.

I could not be a forever single girl because I want to get married (hopefully) and have a couple children (definitely). I could not do the casual dating thing. It's just something I don't see myself doing because deep down I do crave romance.

Being single I do feel liberated because then it's all about me. Do I think being single is setting myself up for a lonely life? Not really, I don't necessarily need romance to have a child but one day that child is going to wonder where is its father. Having spent my teenage years without a father figure and knowing the effects it had on me, I wouldn't want to put any child of mine through that.

Independence over romance? Never! The feminists can stuff it!